Herman Melville

Call me Ishmael, baby, the ding-dong-dinger!

Internet forum moderator

Whoa!! I think this post is a little bit off-topic, baby! The topic of the day is what Final Fantasy characters are on your all-underrated team. We're talking Wakka, we're talking Kain, we're talking whoever it is that makes your mana maniacal, whoever lengthens your cutscenes, whoever chapels your hill, baby!

Are you kidding me!?!?!!? That was unbelievable!!!!! Don't make me do it --- OHHHHHHH! Dickie V just lowered the banhammer, baby! Hasta la vista! Sayonara! Aloha! That'll teach you to talk about Skyrim in a Final Fantasy forum, baby! Tell the rest of the internet hello from Dickie V!!!!

Rapper

D-Vittie in the house, with the double-dipsy-do
I put the O in O G with my 23-skiddo
I'm the bracket-buster baby,
Me and Dukie on prowl baby,
Rolling in my Camry to the Denny's by 3:30 baby
I'm the bapalicious baldolicious dunkalicious Dickolicious
The chickies down in Carolina climb my Chapel Hillolicious
I'm the skippy-scrappy bingle berry, the sloppa-doodle-doo
Climbin' up your steppy ladder cut your net down too!

Dental Hygenist

Wow, I have never seen plaque like this at an age like yours! This is absolutely bananas. This isn't just plaque, it's plaqorino baby! Look, your toothbrush is a great everyday player, it's your workhorse, it's going to get in there and grind out those food particles day in and day out without complaining. But you can't build a team around just one player, baby! You can't do it! You can't do it! We both know that flossing isn't what wins the popularity contest. It's not what gets on the highlight reel. Floss does the little things that don't show up in the stat column. Floss is a winner, baby! Flossy is prime time, no doubt, real world, down low in the gums prime time. Flossy-flossy baby-baby!

Criminal defense attorney

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, look at my client, baby! Is this guy not a PTPer? Take a look deep inside your souls, I'm talking way down, I'm talking bottom of the Grand Canyon, baby, that's how far down you gotta look! I know what you're thinking, it's as simple as dipsy-doo-acquit-a-roo, why are we even here, baby? You take a look at this guy, you just know, he's a diaper dandy, I mean the guy literally wears diapers and a top hat! How could a guy like that chop up all those old ladies? It's inconceivable, baby!

Bus Driver

So we're coming up on Central Avenue, oh yeah, baby! That's a real street out there, that's a real old school street running right through a real city. Central Avenue, it's got the whole package, it's got apartments, it's got pizza joints, it's got some empty lots, it's got the whole package. Wide lanes, everything. Gonna pull up here and open the doors, you look at this guy climbing on the bus here, probably the worst single bus rider since 2006 when that lady sprayed the bus with mace. But he's a gunner, he's gonna push his way onto the bus, gonna make them make room for him, maybe not the most talented bus rider for sure but he's gonna fight for space and he's gonna fight for room and they're going to accept him because he makes them do it. He's a fighter baby!

Rocket Scientist

Oh, we're going to the moon tonight baby! Tell you what, nobody can compensate for the distortion of space time at high speeds like those Apollo teams in the sixties. But when you look at somebody like Charles Bolden, big hands, big body, really fills up the lane with that big body, boy, you look at somebody like Charles Bolden. I've got a feeling that differentiating relative to time in a gravitational vector is really going to give you some major points out there tonight!